KONGSIKAN

Let’s be frank.

Not all people are born with silver spoons in their mouths.

That is the most precise matter that people really can’t deny. It’s like a fact that had been set by the human nature itself and it is such an awful lie when you said that you didn’t ever hope or ever dream to live in a wealthy household.

Am I wrong? Obviously I’m not.

Who doesn’t want to grow up in a big house with numbers of big rooms? Who doesn’t want to be able to eat everything that you have ever wanted to eat with gusto? Who doesn’t want to get all of the things that you have ever desire?

There is envy. There is jealousy.

 

I stumbled upon a tweet. It is a story about a student who has 11 siblings and all the feels that he needs to put aside. It is indeed not cushy. But due to understanding and maturity, he sacrificed his envy and jealousy because he knew that his younger siblings needed more than he is. Now, the young man is pursuing his study in Chemical Engineering at University College London. You can take a look of his post here.

“Had you given me everything I wanted back then, I wouldn’t have everything I have now.”

Yes. That’s what he said.

 

As I was going through his anecdote, I was mesmerized and moved. Inspired.

Have you ever throw your sight at nothing as you are reflecting but actually you’re not reflecting, you’re just reviewing the things that you have experienced as year passed?

I do. Everytime. With envy. With jealousy.

But as time goes by, it changed. It is all with envy. No more jealousy.

 

My friend once said to me,

“You’re one brave, independent, and strong girl bcs Allah SWT doesn’t give trials to people who can’t bear them. Right?”

Yes. I have to be brave and I have to be independent in order to keep moving and living my life to the fullest. Yes. Indeed I need to be strong to go through all those shitty stuffs that I have been endured for the past years.

Have you ever imagine of living without your parent?

I have imagined that and it did happen to me.

 

“You always managed to do things on your own which sometimes I don’t even think I could do, if I were to be you.”

Well, I have to. I have to be independent on my own. I have to learn by heart on the right ways to manage my own life.

While other freshmen came with their family to register, I came alone.

Yes. That moment, there were an obvious envy and of course, jealousy.

 

Fergie once said, “Big girls don’t cry.”

As adulthood and the truth of life overcome myself, I realized that my life is focuses on no one but me.

Only me.

Then at one utmost point I realized that I need to sacrifice my spoiled-brat self into a self-reliance.

Everything happens for a solid reason.

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. The best is yet to come.